Power Rangers Samurai Parody
by Beo X
Summary: Just when you thought you knew the Power Rangers Samurai, think again. This is how things would play out for the Rangers in real life if the characters knew they were being watched. Beware the comedy, bluntness, cliches, and self realization the characters make on their own.


Dear Power Ranger Samurai fans,

Please don't take this story as an insult; I'm simply making fun of how the characters act and how events occur. I added in some realism that makes the storyline nearly pointless at times, so have a good laugh and enjoy the story.

P.S.

I have another Power Ranger Parody in store based on Power Rangers Megaforce. If's its demanded, then I will give it to you.

**Power Rangers Samurai Parody**

**A day in a Life of a Power Ranger Samurai**

It's a beautiful day at the Shiba Household. All is well and peaceful, but we all know what usually happens in a Power Rangers series, so that peace is just a cover up until BS happens.

Jayden wakes up and feels great. He gets out of bed and begins a righteous monologue, "Today is the day I become the Red Samurai Ranger and lead others, who I know will need me, because I'm the main character and every Ranger Team needs a Red Ranger. Well, there was that one time when the Red Ranger was the co-leader and the White was the leader, but that was generations ago. Now it's time to get my Samurizer and make some enemies, so I can kick their ass. I wonder if Master Xandred is still alive after my dad supposedly killed him, so we can be enemies?"

The moment Jayden walks out the room, Mentor Ji appears out of the corner and punches him, while yelling out, "Dodge!"

Jayden falls to the ground hurt and holds his face, screaming, "Dam it, Mentor Ji! That Hurt!"

Mentor Ji folds his hands behind his back, closing his eyes disappointed. "Jayden you disappointment me. A leader must always be aware of their enemy or risk getting hit in the face, or killed."

Jayden gets to his feet, "But Mentor Ji, this is a kid friendly series, the Power Rangers always win and the monsters always delay on attacking."

Mentor Ji punches a wall out of rage, "Dam the rules! If it were realistic like our Japanese counterparts, nobody would be complaining. Everybody loves them, but we are the joke of Super Sentai, sometimes I wonder why we even exist."

Mike appears from the ceiling trying to hit Mentor Ji, but the attack is counter and he is kick in the stomach as Mentor Ji yells, "Dodge!"

Mike flies to the wall hard face first and drops on his head. "So close, yet so far!"

Mia then appears looking worry through the paper wall and sees Jayden and Mike hurt. She begins to run to them, in a slow motion dramatic scene, yelling, "Jayden, Mike, Jayden, Mike, Jayden, Mike!"

Mentor Ji senses another attack and counters, only to see it is a pillow thrown his way. Kevin pops out from the side screen paper door, drop kicking Mentor Ji in the face with both feet, yelling, "Dodge!"

Mentor Ji is surprise he is hit and by Kevin of all people. That's something he expected from Jayden. Mentor Ji goes through a door, into a room, and crashes into some pots, which more then fall on him.

Mia overacts again, "Mentor Ji!"

Mentor Ji walks out the room tying his robe back on and fixing himself. "Now that's what I call a leader. Kevin, you are very fierce!"

Jayden, Kevin, Mike, and Mia look at Mentor Ji weird, as men don't use that word, women do. Emily comes out another room wondering what's going on and asks in a very low voice.

"What's going on?"

Nobody caught what she said. Emily goes into the room and grabs a speakerphone, "What's going on?"

Mentor Ji looks annoyed, "I really hate your low voice. I am not trying to be cruel or biased because you are a woman, but I REALLY wish you had brother since dealing with women is not what I do."

Mia runs over to Emily yelling, "Emily!"

Mike yells, "Mia, shut the F**K up! I could just innocently trip on a rubber ball and you get a whole heart attack, while screaming out my name like it does any good. I really wish we could have a Purple Samurai Ranger instead of you because you're so dramatic."

Kevin steps in the center of the room, while a light shines on him, leaving the others in the shadow. "We must stop this fighting at once. We are Rangers and it is our destiny to fight Master Xandred as our parents have. Now who is with me?"

A screen from the corner then opens and it is Antonio in fishing gear with a pole in some water on the floor that is shape like a circle, "I got nothing else to do."

Kevin says, "Come, Mentor Ji, let us decide on our colors and do righteous battle!"

Mentor Ji comments, "I love your passion, Kevin. Let us meet in the meeting room."

The six walk into a door on the side and sit on the seats, where a table is in the center.

The ceiling opens up and Mentor Ji appears in a crystal ball, which only shows his head, coming down slowly with the star wars Darth Vader music playing. The six are shock he takes the whole introduction of powers so seriously.

Suddenly, a Chubby Puerto Rican Guy appears through the window with a rock and launches it full force, while yelling, "Floating F*****g Head!" and runs away.

The crystal ball brakes making Mentor Ji land on his face. He cleans himself up and acts like nothing happened. "I can not even make a grand entrance without being attack, which is not fierce at all."

Jayden yells out annoyed, "Men don't say fierce, only women do!"

Mentor Ji said, "Okay, I was simply trying to see if I could make it cool, but you really hinted your dislike for it. Now back to business." He grabs a case from the corner, "Within this case lies great power only meant for you five, originally, and unfortunately extras."

Emily asks, "What about Antonio? Isn't he apart of Samurai culture?"

Mentor Ji replies, "I swear by the name of the Shiba Household, if you don't speak through your speakerphone, I will launch it in your face. You know we all hate your voice because we can barely hear you."

Emily grabs the speakerphone to her side, "What about Antonio? He's not from Samurai culture like us?"

"Shut up will you!" Mentor Ji says annoyed. "Lately, Power Rangers makes no sense since we were bought back from Disney, oh Disney, at least my life had meaning with you. Antonio, he is just another plot hole along with Jayden's sister Lauren, who is also a Red Samurai Ranger."

Antonio comments, "I envy the RPM Rangers. Right now they're living the rich life and everybody loves them, but that's because Disney created a reasonable storyline for them. Unlike us, we get the King of plot holes as our boss!"

Jayden says, "Come on guys, its not that bad."

Mia yells out dramatically, "Disney, why did you have to sell Power Rangers back to Saban! I expected the new Power Rangers to be a once in a life time experience, instead there's plot holes, over used phrases, and writers who do their job half ass!"

"I saw all this coming a mile away and still end up here," Antonio adds. "In the Japanese Version, Jayden's counterpart has a sister and knows about it, but Jayden has no idea at first."

Jayden said confuse, "I have a sister? When did this happen?"

"It's complicated," Mentor Ji says covering it up with a cough quickly and gets back into being serious. "Now to choose who will get what power. Also, a quick note, there will be an interview afterwards so people will see your face on TV."

Mike said unsure, "Is that really a safe idea? I mean people will know who we are once we appear."

Mentor Ji says, "Do not worry. That is another plot hole, which everyone will forget once a monster appears. It is ridiculous, but who really cares as long as something happens."

Lauren appears through the door and sits on a chair, "Hey Mentor Ji, sorry for being late, but I got caught up in something way more important than this."

"Just sit already you spoiled princess. Just when I thought Jayden, the loner was bad, I get his sister who acts like she really has a life. If there was ever time for a death scene, me and this moment would be it."

The case is open and there are seven Samurizers. One by one Mentor Ji walks up to each person handing them their morpher.

"Lauren, you are the Red Female Samurai and second in command, but I doubt you will be around, so grab it and stay around for the first fight anyway. Also, I doubt you will show any honor in being the only Female Red Ranger in history, so act like you care for now." Lauren takes it.

"Jayden, you are suppose to be the Red Samurai, but your awareness is crap, I mean I can kick your ass in my sleep, so instead you will be the Gold Samurai Ranger, the biggest disappointment in Power Ranger and Super Sentai history because that's the only special Ranger to suck, plus you are weak."

Jayden said upset, "Are you serious! This is my house and my dad put you in charge to raise me to be a leader."

Mentor Ji said, "Okay, I will test you one more time to see if you are worthy. What did the five fingers say to the face?"

Jayden thinks about it, "Hello?"

"Dodge!" Mentor Ji yells as he punches Jayden.

Jayden flies to the back wall hurt with legs in the air.

"You really need to work on dodging," Comments Mentor Ji in disappointment again.

Jayden agrees as he gets up, "On second thought, the Gold Samurai doesn't sound so bad." Jaden sits in his chair and takes it.

"Kevin, you are the Red Samurai Ranger as you do look the part. Maybe later we can hangout and do some crazy stupid S**t! You know, make some memories before you go after Master Xandred is destroyed and all." Kevin takes it.

"Mike, you are the Blue Samurai Ranger because green is not working with you. I like your effort into trying to express me constantly, so I can treat you differently, and for that, you are worthy of being co-leader when Lauren decides to go M.I.A." Mike takes it.

"Antonio, what the hell are you even doing here? You don't have any connection to the Shiba Household to be deemed worthy of being a Samurai descendent."

Antonio says, "Okay, I'll go then."

Mentor Ji stops him, "Wait, please come back! I can't be stuck with stupid beautiful people for the next whatever amount of time this show is on. I need one real person on the team to feel normal."

Antonio sits back in the seat, "Whatever!"

"Antonio, you are the Green Samurai and more apart of the team than Jayden himself, also that is the only male color left." Antonio takes it.

"Mia, you are the Yellow Samurai Ranger because yellow looks better on you. Though you annoy me to no end when you are dramatic, at least I can hear you without assistance." Mia takes it.

"Finally, Emily, you are the Pink Samurai Ranger because just like pink, you annoy me. I really wish I could just replace you with a man, but that's part of the contract for this show." Emily takes it.

The group line behind Kevin holding their morphers ready to change.

"Ready," yells Kevin.

The other yell, "Ready!"

Antonio says, "Can we not do that, it really spoils the moment if there is a monster?"

Kevin says, "Nope, part of the meaningless dialogue we have to say."

Mentor Ji says, "I feel your pain, Antonio, I feel your pain."

They all yell out, "Go, Go, Samurai!"

Their element symbol is created with energy from their Samuraizers and they slash it. Their suits appear and they all make a pose.

"Stop, don't pose in here! Are you trying to make the Shiba House blow up," Mentor Ji yells.

The group stops posing as they remember explosions tend to magically appear when Power Rangers pose.

There is a knock on the door and Mentor Ji leads the way. "As soon as the cameras appear, it is not enough to appear, take off your helmets too."

Mike says, "Again, I'm not sure this is a good idea."

Antonio says, "People in this story have a mind of a gold fish. They'll know who you are for like 5 seconds and then forget who you are."

Mentor Ji says, "Antonio has the idea."

The door is open and cameras appear as the group walks out, with their helmets off.

It is very weird, as the news reporter woman isn't really asking questions, but more of never shutting up and giving herself the questions she thinks everyone watching wants to hear. The time for questions came and the news reporter woman gave some people a chance to talk.

The first is the Chubby Puerto Rican Guy who assaulted Mentor Ji earlier. "I hope you all know this is pointless. It's going to take you at least two years to kill every monster only because you waste so much time on stupid s**t."

Mentor Ji said, "Leave the monsters to us and you stay ignorant to what really happens."

The second is a Skinny Puerto Rican Guy. "I am really disappointed in this turnout. I thought Saban learned his lesson from his mistakes, but it seems like he didn't. Your intro music is a rip-off of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, and even they want nothing to do with Saban. On top of that, you all look way too pretty for your good."

"Are you trying to make us lose our fan base?" Mentor Ji said.

"Technically, you already lost them the moment the trailer and song played. Even the RPM Rangers are laughing at you guys. It's so sad, even Dr. K, the nerdy scientist, has more of a fan base than Mentor Ji."

Mentor Ji has heard enough, "Enough! You shut your dam mouth or I will shut it for you!"

The Skinny Puerto Rican Guy shuts up. After a few more people asked questions, the news reporter woman says goodbye and everyone leaves.

At the entrance of the city, Bulk and Spike appear.

Spike asks, "Uncle Bulk, is it really safe here knowing we could be attack knowing the town is always in danger?"

Bulk replies, "Spike, you make one hell of a point. I was going to train you to be a Samurai, but that would be a huge waste of time, so just like those black people in 'Paranormal Activity' we gone!"

They then run away from the city. In the Sinzu River, Master Xandred wakes up from a long sleep and finds a note on his ship.

"Captain, we realized we could do better. The only one who couldn't was Dayu, but she's not all the important anyways, so I put up a rental sign, so hopefully others will appear soon."

Dayu is in the mirror looking at herself and Master Xandred demands she attacks the Samurai Rangers, but she denies, as her looks are more important. He then sent another Nighlock in her place.

The Nighlock looks like a squid elephant with bear claws. "Time to round up some fresh meat."

The Rangers hear the alarm.

Mentor Ji said dramatically, "Rangers, you are needed, now get you asses to that park and do what every other ranger before you has done."

They rush out changing as they clashed with their symbol power after yelling out "Go, Go, Samurai!" and ran down the street, while people are looking at them wondering why they don't have a ride.

The Nighlock attacks the people talking way too much about what he is going to do to them and is ready to really kill them until the Rangers appear.

The Nighlock feels stupid, "Why do us villains always take so long to get to the point? That won't happen again!"

As the Rangers look like they are going to do something awesome, they wasted about 1 minute doing ten poses with random explosions, 1 minute on a long not needed catchphrase, and see the Nighlock already done taking peoples energy. The Rangers don't even run after the Nighlock like any sane person, instead they did too many flips, cartwheels, and back flips that only proved in battle they were near useless.

They barely get in any hits as the Nighlock blast them and runs away. The group finally acts normal and traps the Nighlock in the corner. After the Samurai's get beat up for 10 minutes, they realize they have a special attack to begin with that could have easily ended the fight in the beginning. While they were fighting, before the Nighlock is killed, they used some of the most outrageous words that made no sense.

The Nighlock said, "Time to put you rangers out of space and time."

Jayden said, "Time is roast a squid and serve him up."

Kevin said, "Fried or raw, you are going to the birds."

Mike said, "Let's cut and dice till there's nothing left of you."

Antonio said, "Let's just kill him already and enough of the outrageous dialogue."

Mia said, "Now I'm at a lost, you completely ruined what I was going to say Antonio."

Emily said, "Old people food is the best to eat."

Everyone, even the Nighlock, looked at her weird and heard what she said that time.

Lauren said annoyed, "What's the point in fighting when special attacks always kill the monster anyway?"

Kevin replies, "It must be done, so just stick to whatever what was written."

The Rangers turn around to do an over the top victory pose, which wasn't needed as another ridiculous explosion occurs. The Nighlock then returns as a giant, hovering over them.

Just as the Rangers are going to go into Mega Mode, Deker appears.

"Red Ranger, I have come for the ultimate duel that will satisfy my swords urge for battle."

There is an awkward silence, even the Nighlock is at a loss at what to do.

"You really have to come now of all times," Kevin said upset. "We are about to battle a monster and you want to duel now?"

Jayden is jealous, "That could have been me you know."

Deker isn't happy and puts his sword away. "The only reason this show is going to last, isn't because of the monsters Master Xandred sends, its me. I am the only realistic villain that puts up a real right. Master Xandred doesn't even fight that much and complains like a b****y woman."

Antonio agrees, "He has a point there, Kevin. And no Jayden, you'd be way to dramatic about fighting Decker. Once he's dead, we're all screwed because the fan base will drop worse than it already is."

Emily begins to cry. Mia yells "Why!" Mike is looking on his Samurizer accessing the internet for a new job. Antonio leaves and comes back eating a fish stick with his helmet off. Lauren is on the phone talking to a model manager. Jayden is angry because he isn't the Red Ranger. And Kevin is looking at the others mad. The Nighlock even apologizes and says he is created to be evil, but he really wants to do realty.

"Everyone, back into character! We started this commitment and we're ending it together," Kevin yells.

"Now you all have to see my commercial." Deker says.

Kevin says, "Why?"

Deker replies, "You are not going to fight to the death, so you have to pay somehow."

Kevin agrees as long as Deker goes away afterward.

A big screen TV appears and it was Deker, human form, in a suit. "Hey there mortals and Nighlock, you tired of being a whole being knowing you could be better? Then try my newest product half and half. It makes humans Nighlock and Nighlock humans. I have nothing else to say because I'm Deker and if you don't buy it I will kill you all. So remember what's not bad for one half simply makes the other fierce."

The Director said, "Cut! Deker you know that makes no sense."

Deker said, "I was thinking 'Outside the box."

The Director said, "Let's end it differently, can we."

They tried five more times but Deker only makes it worse. It was: Half is better than dead, monster no I'm a human too, I wasn't thinking about what the side affects were, I was bored and thought it was cool, and I'm going to die so sue me if you aren't happy.

As the TV turns off, they all look at Deker like he's crazy.

Lauren said, "You're such a prick."

Deker says dramatically, "At least I tried to do something different, unlike you Rangers. It's the same thing every season and I quite so screw all of you."

Deker walks away.

Kevin said, "Now back to the battle."

They all yell out "Mega Mode" and waited for three minutes, until the Zords finally appear, and change into armor mode. The Zords combine and appears with a sword.

The giants are fighting and causing damage everywhere.

Kevin said, "Time to make this Nighlock go night night!"

"But I'm not tired yet."

Antonio says mad, "It's just a catchphrase to kill you! How dumb are you Nighlocks?"

The Nighlock replies, "It's not my fought. I'm created by people who have no idea what a real monster is. It's like they watch cheesy kid shows and assume it's scary, when it's not and use that as inspiration."

Emily comments, "I feel so bad for you, but we have to destroy you now."

Mentor Ji is then heard on the Samurizers, "Emily, for Shiba's sake, use the dam speakerphone. Don't make me climb up that Megazord and beat some sense into you!"

Emily grabs the speakerphone, "Goodbye Mr. Nighlock!"

The Megazord uses its special attack and destroys the Nighlock. As the Megazord turns around, it did three unneeded poses. The first is a punch to the air, the second is a spin on its back, and the third is a back flip.

"B****in," Emily says randomly on the speakerphone.

The Rangers are happy their first battle is over. Suddenly, the Megazord is change pink. It was somehow bedazzled and they all yelled out, "Pinkypie!" Pinkypie appears from the corner of a building and laughs like she did nothing wrong followed by running on a rainbow and disappears.

In the Sinzu River, Master Xandred is talking to himself. "I can't believe I lost to those Rangers. This is not what I planned when I started centuries ago to rule the world."

Dayu then interrupts him in the middle of his speech, "Master Xandred, why are you so loud?"

Master Xandred replies, "Because I can. I can't even have my own moment on my boat without someone complaining."

Dayu said, "I only ask because our neighbors can hear you."

Master Xandred said shock, "What neighbors?"

He looks out the window; he sees two pirate ships. One was the Black Pearl with Captain Jack Sparrow and the other has Captain Hook.

Jack said, "Hello mate, you wouldn't happen to have some rum would you?"

Hook said, "Or a treasure chest would be nice. Gold coins are my hobby."

"How are you here and why aren't your ships burning? This river is made of fire, so you two should be dead."

Jack replies, "I am dead, I was eaten by an octopus or a giant squid and was only left with this annoying immortal monkey who never dies."

Hook said, "I was trying for many years to capture a little boy who had treasure, but it was B******T! It was only toys, pictures, and crap I didn't need. I wasted too much time in my life and it was too late to change my life, and I died of old age."

Master Xandred is upset, drinks his medicine, and demands Dayu play her instrument to relax. "I hate my neighbors already."

The Rangers return to the Shiba House and Antonio goes back to fishing in his corner.

Jayden asks, "Hey Antonio, I knew we grew up together and all, but how the hell do you always find a spot to fish in?"

Antonio asks confuse, "What do you mean?"

Jayden mentions a desert, very dry lake, muddy area, tall apartment complex, forest, maze, and mountains.

Antonio replies, "Everyone here is stupid and fishing helps me feel good about my life. Besides it's another plot hole, it doesn't have to make sense just as long as nobody really thinks about it."

Jayden doesn't understand and left him alone. The Rangers meet up an hour later as Mentor Ji calls them to the meeting room.

"Rangers, great job! You have defeated a Nighlock and your victory was well worth the effort."

Kevin asks excited, "Are there more Mentor Ji?"

Mentor Ji laughs and then takes out a board revealing many Nighlocks. "It will be awhile before we finish. I say about two years worth."

Lauren says, "Okay, I'm done. Just call me when you have three monsters left because I could actually have a life, bye!" Lauren leaves the Shiba House.

There is a knock on the door and it is the Chubby Puerto Rican Guy.

"So was I right about the two year fights?"

Mentor Ji replies, "Yes, but the effort will be well worth it once the Nighlock and Master Xandred are destroyed?"

The Chubby Puerto Rican Guy says dramatically, "I told you, but no, no body ever listens to the guy who sees outside the box and knows what's going to happen before it happens." He then walks away.

Antonio looks sad as he appears in the doorway, "I envy that guy for being who he is, I don't remember why I wanted to be a Samurai anyway."

Mentor Ji tells Mia and Emily to meet him in a room. They wait and he appears with a serious face.

Mia asks, "What's wrong, Mentor Ji?"

He doesn't speak and Lauren pops through the window yelling, "Dodge!" Mia is punch and Emily is kick in the face.

Mentor Ji replies, "I am a man and not allowed to hit women, but Lauren can. I just wanted to prove you both will suffer as the men. So once in a while you will be attack when you least expect it."

Lauren says, "I'm just happy I can help," and jumps through the window.

As Mentor Ji leaves the room, the guys come in and feel bad for the women.

Mike said, "Let me guess, Lauren appeared and hit you both."

Emily replies, "Yeah."

Jayden said, "Now you know how we feel when Mentor Ji attacks us to keep us focused. Don't try to stop it, just learn to take it."

The guys help the women up and walk out of the Shiba House to enjoy the rest of the day.

Bulk and Spike appear again.

Spike asks, "Why did we leave again, Uncle Bulk?"

Bulk replies, "Simple, we're smarter than most people and staying in a place where we can die is not smart, it's stupid. We just came back to get our things and we'll never come back again."

Bulk and Spike come with a van and move everything they have into it.

Spike gets into the passenger seat and said, "So we gone?"

Bulk gets into the driver side, turns on the van, and replies with a serious face, "We gone!"

The van drives away and far from the city. The Skinny Puerto Rican Guy is at a stand and buys a newspaper. A Nighlock monster was defeated and everyone is happy, for now at least. As he flips the page, he throws his drink on the ground and is angry. The second headline read.

Saban, creator of Power Rangers and also the one who rips off Japan's footage, has decided to continue his show. The next group of Power Rangers will be call Power Rangers Megaforce.

"Mother F****R! When will Power Rangers die? It's bad enough Power Rangers suck, and the ratings are low, on the first episode alone, but Saban really plans to keep going. Somebody needs to kick his ass and tell him to stop making Power Rangers already. Disney ended that franchise with Power Rangers RPM, which was F*****G AMAZING! Now it's all going to hell!"

The Skinny Puerto Rican Guy walks away angry.


End file.
